So you must first know that when I decided I wanted to start a blog, I wasn't pregnant....nor did I know how hard it would be once I got pregnant to keep up with my normal lifestyle, let alone keep you informed of what's going on in my daily existence via a blog. Nonetheless, blogging is still something I am passionate about and want to do and I'm glad I started it last summer...even though my last post was a little over 4 months ago. I just haven't yet found the right balance between pregnancy, work, life in general and blogging. Soon, my struggle with no longer included pregnancy but rather, mommyhood, which I know will be even more time consuming and exhausting than pregnancy ever was. Still, I welcome that challenge with much anticipation!
I am four weeks or less away from holding this precious baby girl that for 9+ months has occupied my tummy. I can't say it's been easy. Being pregnant has been the hardest thing I've ever physically done. I've not been exempt from any pregnancy symptom my
What to Expect When Expecting book warned me about. I've had the heartburn, the acid reflux, the excruciating pelvic pain, the sciatic nerve pain, the rock bottom immune system that allows me to pick up everything coming going, the swelling, numbness and tingling of my limbs, the emotional warfare...you name it, I've experienced it. I know that soon, however, it will all be worth it. The song "In My Daughter's Eyes" has been playing in my mind for the past few weeks and every time, I get teary-eyed.
"And when she wraps her hand around my finger...oh, it puts a smile in my heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer. I realize what life is all about."
It gets me EVERY.TIME. The last time I remember hearing that song my dad was escorting me across stage during the evening gown competition of my second year in the Miss Kentucky pageant. What a memory! And to think that the song that I have such fond memories of with my dad, will soon apply to my own life. My heart swells...not only because the lyrics are tear jerkers and soon I'll get to look into my very own daughter's eyes, but because I am so blessed to still have my dad in my life. He is my hero.
For those of you who know me well, you know that just recently my immediate family went through the most major hardship we have faced to date. After a abnormal echo cardiogram and a failed stress test, a cardiologist told my dad that he might need to go in for a heart cath..."might" as in the test results were borderline - not too bad and not too good either. He left the decision as to whether to go ahead with the test completely up to my dad. My dad immediately decided he was going to have this test just for peace of mind. Then, life happened...he was busy running the store he and my mom own and the holidays were coming up soon. He planned a Christmas getaway in Florida and thought little of the test that 'might' need to be performed. However, the tightness in his chest and the pains he still had, even while relaxing in the Sunshine State, reminded him that when he got back to Kentucky, he 'might' need to actually look into getting that test after all. So four months after the being advised that he 'might' need to have a heart cath, he scheduled it for mid January. I worked that day and left school just in time to see him before the heart cath. He was calm... and kinda upset that he was forced to wear a hospital gown. My mom was surprisingly calm. I was not calm. Pregnancy does not allow a woman to hide emotions very well. This was the first time I had ever seen my dad in the hospital and I did not like it. Still, I was sure nothing would be wrong with the strongest man I had ever known or loved. He went back for the test and mom and I went to the waiting room with a pager that would let us know when the doctor was ready to talk to us. While there, my mom and I discussed my upcoming baby shower, where we might eat after the test was complete and how my belly had grown, not thinking that anything would actually be wrong. My brother arrived shortly after and about 45 minutes later, we were being paged to come back. I thought this short amount of time was a great sign that all was well and there were no blockages to be found but as I sat down in the room with my mom and brother and listened to the cardiologist, I discovered this was not the case. Not at all.
He grabbed a drawing of the heart from one of the paper organizers on the table and hooked it to a clipboard. From there, he started filling in blockages of different arteries with a pen to demonstrate what my dad's situation was. It was scary and my hope for the best was ripped away. I heard the words 'four' and 'bypass' come out of his mouth. Four blockages, including one termed 'the widow maker', had occupied my dad's heart. The arteries around the back of his heart had luckily formed new arteries to supply the major artery in the front with blood supply. Had this not happened, he would have died from a massive heart attack. The fix? Bypass surgery.
What? Are you telling me that this healthy man I call dad is in need of quadruple bypass open heart surgery? Yes, that was the situation. When? Now! As in, as soon as we can get a bed open at the hospital across town, he are admitting him and scheduling the surgery. I was not prepared for this but then again, when is anyone ready to be told that a love one has to have an emergent surgery to help save and prolong his/her life? The rest of the night was filled with lots of tears and family and phone calls and trying to stay strong and trust in God's plan. It was rough. Colby left work early to be with me. My other brother, his wife and my nephews from back home came. He was immediately taken to ICU while we awaited news of a bed open at the other hospital and only two people at a time were to be back in his room at one time. We all took turns going back with him and mom and then soon, we were sent home, still unsure of when surgery would take place.
After arriving home, we received news that dad's surgery would take place early in the morning around 7:30am. Needless to say, no one slept well that night. I was up at 4am and at the hospital at 5 to hear what the surgeon had to say. The surgeon was reassuring and I had faith in him, despite what the crocodile tears running down my face might have led him to believe. As my dad was wheeled back to surgery, I let go and let God....trusting that God would hold my dad during this major surgery and guide the surgeons hands perfectly. What else could I do? The praying didn't cease nor did the crying. The next 5 hours were long for my family but finally, we were led to a room to discuss the results with the surgeon. All was good! Praise the Lord! They were able to perform the four bypasses successfully and he was stable. Mom and I were the first to go back to see him and it was scary. He was lying unconscious hooked up to what seems like a million tubes and monitors with a nurse standing by his side watching his every move. We weren't allowed to stay long but seeing him alive was comforting.
Over the next week, I watched him progress each day. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing someone I love in pain...and he, was in a lot of it. It was hard seeing this man I had always seen as invincible, being helpless. The important thing, however, was he was alive and would only get better with time. Since, he has healed up nicely and been released to drive and return to work (minus the heavy lifting and manual labor that he was used to). He is certainly happy about that. I am praising God for the work he has done on my dad! Thank you Lord for watching over and healing this wonderful man I get to call dad.
Even though my dad was the one who went through surgery and recovery, I have to also give props to my mom for standing by his side throughout the entire process. She was by his side day in and day out, sleeping in a recliner, showering every couple days and living on hospital cafeteria food and snacks. She was his biggest cheerleader and drill sergeant. Let me tell you, she is a strong, courageous woman....the strongest I know, in fact and she amazes me everyday. How lucky I am to be able to call her mom.
Taken at my nephew Landon's birthday party in October 2012. It was a mustache bash!
And soon, my baby girl, who we have decided to name Piper Eden, will be able to call these two people I love so very much, Granny and Paw. Let the spoiling begin!
In other news, Piper had the hiccups for first time last weekend. Ahh-ma-zing. What a miraculous reminder that there is another human being growing in my belly! You never cease to amaze me, God! She is an active little lady and should be weighing in now at around 6 pounds. Colby and I can't wait to meet our little miracle.
Wow! Blog post overload! I apologize for the lengthiness. I hope it makes up for my lack of blogging these past few months. I will leave you with a preview of the maternity pics we took Sunday. Wholly watermelons! Look at my belly! Thank you Conrhod Zonio Photography for capturing this happy time in our lives! I can't wait to see the rest!
Conrhod Zonio Photography
I hope to soon be back with a glimpse of the nursery. You won't want to miss it!
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